i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
