can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
