Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
