i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
