M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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