Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
