Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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