I think im going to throw up on grandma
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
