if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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