i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
