I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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