it was like his penis was on wheels.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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