There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
