I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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