Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
