I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
