If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
