My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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