she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
