saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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