operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
