I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
