do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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