Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
