Can Purell be used as lube?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
