i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he puts the penis in happiness.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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