first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
