I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
