That's when you crack a 10am beer
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
