You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
