we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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