xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
