Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
