if i can run in heels then i can drive
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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