FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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