Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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