when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
