Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
