Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
