Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
