Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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