I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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