im drinking this country out of the recession.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
so much tequila, so little girl.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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