I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
