so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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