He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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