I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
