so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
3pm strippers are depressing
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
