i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
