Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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